Thursday, 28 September 2017

What’s the best beginner anal sex toy for a man?

Anal pleasure and anal sex toys are becoming more popular with men of all sexual preference, I am pleased to say. Sex toys are made for anatomy not sexual orientation so if it feels good, that’s great! Glad you are getting involved with this wonderful source of stimulation.
With regards to your query, I would recommend something slim and that can vibrate or be used static, for more versatility and you can then see which you prefer.  As well as lots of lube, which is a must.
Try the Booty Call Flexible Slimline Vibrating Anal Beads, they’re slender and graduate in size for easy entry and it will get you used to things inserted in there, without the scary girth of other toys or butt plugs. These beads vibrate too if you like so once inside, turn them on and enjoy that stimulating sensation.

Top tip: Slip one of your condoms over your anal sex toys first to make clean-up even easier.
Once used to these vibrating anal beads, you can think of upgrading to something bigger and better for precise prostate massage. The Tantus Silicone Prostate Play Vibrating Prostate Massager is made with body safe silicone, is shaped beautifully for excellent prostate stimulation and even has a removable bullet vibrator you can include in other sexy sessions too. Whether you’re alone or sharing your fun with a partner.
Inflatable sex toys can be fun, but make sure you’re a bit more experienced in anal play first of all. You don’t want to tear your delicate anal tissue and/or put yourself off further sexual discovery.
You’ll be best off trying with lube, both over the condom covered toy and lube up yourself to prepare – and take it slow. Try some Give Lube Super Thick Anal Lubricant or some Sliquid Sassy Anal Lube, both of which are excellent.

Thursday, 14 September 2017

Body Shame: It’s Not Just for Wome

There is a bit of a myth that only women experience body shame.  Nothing can be further from the truth.  The Guardian recently published an article, “Me and My Penis: 100 Men Reveal All”, an interview with Laura Dodsworth, author of “Manhood”, a new book about men and sexuality.  The author photographed 100 men’s penises and then talked to them about body image issues and sexuality.
It’s a fascinating article and I’m anxious to read the book, which will be published in September.  What surprised her most? “A lot more men feel a sense of shame or anxiety about their size, or an aspect of their performance, than I would have thought. What really moved me is how much that shame and inadequacy had bled into different parts of their life.” She said many were teased as children about their penis and never recovered from it.
As a sex and intimacy coach, this does not surprise me in the least.  I’ve shared information about average penis size and what women think about penis size.  Internet pornography definitely causes lots of body shame.  Men compare their absolutely normal size penis to the girth and length of porn stars. Porn stars penis’  are digitally enhanced or injected with drugs to increase their erection.

Where does Body Shame come from?

Most body shame does happen from childhood teasing.  Late bloomers are often shamed for their penis size in the locker room.
One of my clients, with a perfectly beautiful more than average size penis, would often place his hands over his crotch, when talking about sex with his wife. He also reverted to a little boy voice.  This was a childhood protective mechanism to defend against his feelings of body shame and penis inadequacy.
In my own personal experience, men with smaller penises are often much better lovers.  A recent lover of mine did have a smaller than average penis.  But the combination of his oral skills and the way he had learned to use his cock for G Spot stimulation took me over the moon.
Makes sense right?  A man with a big penis can get lazy, thinking that all women want is hard and fast thrusting.  Men who can’t rely on that have to get smarter about women’s arousal and really learn how to use all of their other tools.
What’s been your experience with body shame?  Please comment below!Body

Saturday, 2 September 2017

Sexual Polarity: The Secret Sauce to Passionate Sex

Did you know that the secret sauce to hot, passionate sex is sexual polarity in the relationship? It is absolutely true that opposites attract each other.
The sexual charge that shows up when we’re having passionate sex occurs because of the tension between masculine and feminine energy.  When there is a lot of sexual polarity with your partner, the charge is strong.
When that doesn’t exist, sex might be nice and sweet but lacks the passion that you both really want.
Think about sexual polarity like a battery:  positive to negative conducts a charge; positive to positive or negative to negative does not.
Few have explained this concept better than David Deida in his internationally renowned book, The Way of the Superior Man.

Definition of Sexual Polarity

Sexual attraction is based upon sexual polarity, which is the force of passion that arcs between the masculine and feminine poles thus creating the flow of sexual feeling.  If you want real passion you need a ravisher and a ravishee, otherwise you just have two buddies who rub genitals in bed…..The love may still be strong, the friendship may still be strong, but the sexual polarity fades unless in moments of intimacy one partner is willing to play the masculine pole and one partner is willing to play the feminine. 
In heterosexual couples this does not necessarily mean that all of the masculine energy must be held by the man and all of the feminine energy must be held by the woman.  In fact, you have both feminine and masculine energy inside of you although to what degree you’ve cultivated that energy varies from person to person.
There are men who hold a lot of masculine energy (Bruce Willis) who haven’t cultivated their softer, feminine side.  There are also men, (Canada’s Prime Minister Justin Trudeau, President Obama) who have cultivated more of their feminine side.
Similarly, there are women (Rachel Maddow, Hillary Clinton) who hold strong male energy and others (Princess Di, Marilyn Monroe) who have not cultivated it as much.
When I work with couples to help them find their sexual polarity, I am often asked if this means that the man has to be the dominant masculine energy.  The answer is definitely not as long as one of the partners plays the masculine energy role.
There are many happy couples where the women plays the dominant role to a more submissive partner.   Also, you can easily switch back and forth between playing the masculine and feminine energy roles.
As long as you have sexual polarity within your relationship, you will have juicer and more passionate sex.